Best Man for the Job
The Guy Who’s Got Your Back (and the Rings)
So, you’ve locked down the venue, picked out your tux, and—most importantly—convinced someone amazing to marry you. Now comes one of the biggest decisions of your wedding planning journey: choosing your best man.
It’s not just about who throws the wildest bachelor party or who can give a toast without crying (or making you cry). This is the guy who’ll stand beside you on one of the most important days of your life. No pressure, right?
Let’s break it down—with a little history, a few tips, and the kind of loyalty that lasts a lifetime.
A Brief History of the Best Man
Believe it or not, the best man wasn’t always just your go-to guy for moral support and ring-holding. In ancient Germanic tribes, he was literally the best swordsman—tasked with helping the groom fend off rival suitors or even kidnap the bride if her family wasn’t on board.
Romantic? Questionable. Necessary? Absolutely.
Fast forward to Victorian England, and the best man became more of a logistics guy—handling the schedule, the rings, and making sure the groom didn’t bolt. Basically, a wedding planner in a waistcoat.
Today? He’s your right-hand man, your hype guy, and your emotional support human.
What Does a Best Man Actually Do?
Let’s be real—being the best man isn’t just about looking sharp in a tux and holding onto the rings. It’s about stepping into a role that’s part best friend, part bodyguard, part event coordinator, and full-time legend. This guy isn’t just standing next to you—he’s standing up for you.
Here’s what the job really entails:
Before the Wedding
Bachelor Party Architect: Whether it’s a wild weekend in Vegas or a chill night under the stars, he’s the mastermind behind the last hurrah. Think logistics, laughs, and just enough chaos to make it memorable (but not regrettable).
Style Enforcer: He’s the guy making sure everyone’s suit fits, socks match, and no one dares show up in cargo shorts. Fashion crimes? Not on his watch.
Emotional Wingman: When the stress hits—seating charts, family drama, or cold feet—he’s there with a beer, a pep talk, or both.
During the Wedding
Keeper of the Rings: These aren’t just rings—they’re symbols of forever. And he guards them like they’re forged in Mordor.
Groom Whisperer: Nerves? What nerves? He’s the calm in your storm, the guy who keeps you grounded when the music starts and the aisle feels a mile long.
Toast Commander: He delivers a speech that’s equal parts hilarious and heartfelt—no roasts, no rambles, just the perfect tribute to your story.
After the Wedding
Logistics Ninja: From rounding up groomsmen to helping break down the party, he’s the guy who gets things done while everyone else is on the dance floor.
Tux Return Hero: He makes sure the rentals go back on time and the security deposit stays intact.
Family Diplomat: Whether it’s escorting Grandma to the shuttle or gently extracting Uncle Bob from the photo booth, he handles it all with charm and grace.
This isn’t just a title—it’s a trust fall. The best man is your ride-or-die, your behind-the-scenes MVP, and the guy who makes sure your wedding day runs smoother than a fresh shave. Choose wisely, because when the music starts and the nerves kick in, you’ll want that guy by your side.
How to Choose Your Best Man
This isn’t a popularity contest—it’s about trust, history, and choosing the guy who’s going to show up for you in every way that matters.
Here’s how to narrow it down:
Trust Factor
Pick someone who’s reliable. You want the guy who shows up early, not the one who forgets his shoes or texts you from the airport saying he booked the wrong weekend. He should be someone you can count on to handle the details—and the unexpected—with calm and confidence.
Shared History
Your brother, your childhood best friend, your college roommate—someone who knows your story and has been part of it. The best man should be someone who’s seen you at your best, your worst, and still wants to stand beside you in a tux.
Leadership Skills
He’ll be coordinating groomsmen, managing timelines, and maybe even giving pep talks when nerves kick in. You want someone who can take charge without taking over, and who can keep things running smoothly without breaking a sweat.
Public Speaking Ability
He doesn’t need to be a stand-up comic, but he should be able to speak from the heart without breaking into a cold sweat. A great best man toast is sincere, a little funny, and just the right amount of sentimental—without turning into a roast or a therapy session.
Drama-Free Zone
Avoid picking someone who might stir up tension or make the day about themselves. This is your moment, not a reunion tour for old grudges. Choose someone who brings peace, not chaos, and who’s genuinely excited to celebrate you.
What if You Can’t Decide? Co-Best Men!
Sometimes, choosing just one best man feels impossible—especially when you’ve got a crew of close friends or siblings who’ve all played a big part in your life. Good news: you don’t have to choose just one.
Co-Best Men
Totally acceptable—and increasingly common. If you’ve got two (or more) guys who’ve earned the title, go for it. Just make sure responsibilities are clearly divided so no one ends up in a turf war over who gives the toast or holds the rings. One can handle the bachelor party, the other can manage the groomsmen, and both can stand beside you with pride. It’s a great way to honor multiple friendships without playing favorites.
Honorary Roles
Got a deep bench of great guys? Spread the love. Not everyone has to be a best man to feel included. Assign meaningful roles like:
Groomsmen: The classic crew.
Ushers: Greeting guests and helping with seating.
Ceremony readers: Sharing a favorite passage or blessing.
Reception MC: Keeping the party flowing.
These roles let you recognize the people who’ve supported you without overcrowding the altar.
Go with Your Gut
At the end of the day, this is your wedding—and your call. Choose the person (or people) who make you feel supported, celebrated, and maybe even a little less nervous. Whether it’s one best man, two, or a whole team, what matters most is that they’re there for you, heart and soul.
Best Men for the Big Day
Choosing your best man is one of the most personal—and fun—decisions you’ll make on your wedding journey. Whether it’s your brother, your lifelong friend, or the guy who once helped you move a couch up three flights of stairs, this role is about trust, history, and heart.
Your best man isn’t just a title—it’s a tribute. He’s the guy who’s been there through thick and thin, and now he’s standing beside you as you take one of the biggest steps of your life.
So choose wisely. After all, this guy’s holding your rings, your speech, and possibly your dignity.
If you're planning a wedding in Salt Lake City or anywhere in Utah, and you're looking for guidance, support, or just someone to help make your ceremony unforgettable, Rev. Benny Raskin is here to help. With years of experience officiating weddings that are meaningful, joyful, and uniquely tailored to each couple, Rev. Benny brings warmth, humor, and a deep respect for your love story.
Set up your free consolation with Rev. Benny. Whether you’re just starting to plan or putting the final touches on your big day, he’d love to be part of your journey.
