Those Who Can’t Be There
Celebrating with Full Hearts When Someone is Missing
Planning a wedding in Salt Lake City, Utah, is a joyful and meaningful experience—but it can also bring moments of quiet reflection, especially when someone important can’t be there.
When my aunt got married, her father—my grandfather—had already passed. I remember watching my father, her brother-in-law, step forward to walk her down the aisle. It was a simple gesture, but it carried so much meaning. He wasn’t replacing her dad—no one could—but he was standing in love, in memory, and in honor. That moment stayed with me.
Those Who Can’t Be There
Celebrating with Full Hearts, Even When Someone is Missing
When my aunt got married, her father—my grandfather—had already passed. It was a joyful day, but there was a quiet ache beneath the surface. I remember watching my father, her brother-in-law, step forward to walk her down the aisle. It was a simple gesture, but it carried so much meaning. He wasn’t replacing her dad—no one could—but he was standing in love, in memory, and in honor.
That moment stayed with me.
Weddings and other milestone events are often a mix of celebration and remembrance. While we gather to mark a new beginning, we also feel the absence of those we wish could be there. Whether it’s a parent, grandparent, sibling, or friend—someone who lives far away, is serving overseas, is ill, or has passed on—there are ways to include them meaningfully and tenderly. If you're planning a wedding ceremony in Salt Lake City, these ideas can help you honor loved ones in a heartfelt way.
Here are some thoughtful ways to honor loved ones who can’t be present:
Create a Visual Tribute
One of the most meaningful ways to honor someone who can’t be present is by creating a visual tribute. A memory table is a beautiful and quiet space where guests can pause and reflect. It might include framed photos, a handwritten note, a favorite book, or a small item that belonged to your loved one—something that tells a piece of their story. Some couples choose to light a candle on the table, symbolizing the enduring presence of those they miss.
Another touching gesture is reserving a seat at the ceremony. You can place a framed photo on the chair, a single flower, or a small sign that reads something like, “Reserved for someone watching from above.” It’s a subtle but powerful reminder that love continues, even in absence.
For a more interactive tribute, consider setting up a “memory station” where guests can write down their favorite memories or words of love for the person being honored. These notes can be collected in a keepsake box or scrapbook for the couple to read later.
If your loved one had a favorite flower, color, or symbol—like sunflowers, bluebirds, or a particular hymn—you might incorporate that into your décor. These small, intentional details can bring comfort and connection, reminding everyone that while someone may be physically missing, their spirit is woven into the day.
Mention Them in the Ceremony
Another powerful way to honor someone who can’t be present is by acknowledging them during the ceremony itself. This can be as simple or as personal as you’d like. Some couples ask their officiant to include a few words during the welcome—something like, “Today we also hold close the memory of those who are no longer with us, but whose love continues to shape our lives.” It’s a gentle way to bring their presence into the space without shifting the tone of the celebration.
You might also choose to include a moment of silence early in the ceremony. This brief pause allows everyone to reflect, remember, and feel connected. It can be especially meaningful if accompanied by soft music or a symbolic gesture, like the lighting of a candle.
If your loved one had a favorite quote, song lyric, or saying, consider weaving it into the ceremony script. For example, a reading could begin with, “In honor of [Name], who always believed in love’s enduring power…” This not only personalizes the moment but also reminds every one of the unique spirit that person brought into your life.
Some couples choose to write a short dedication themselves and ask the officiant to read it aloud. Others prefer to keep it private, sharing a quiet nod or glance with family members who understand the significance. However, it’s done, acknowledging someone in the ceremony is a beautiful way to say: You are still part of this.
Wear or Carry Something Meaningful
For many, the most comforting way to include a loved one is to carry a small piece of them throughout the day—literally. These quiet, personal tributes can be deeply meaningful and often go unnoticed by others, making them all the more intimate. A locket with a photo worn close to the heart, a handkerchief that once belonged to a grandparent tucked into a pocket, or a charm tied delicately to a bouquet can serve as a gentle reminder that someone special is still part of the moment.
Some brides have sewn a piece of a loved one’s clothing into the lining of their dress or veil—like a patch from a father’s shirt or a grandmother’s wedding gown. Grooms might wear cufflinks passed down through generations or a tie pin that belonged to someone they admired. Even something as simple as a signature scent, a favorite color, or a piece of jewelry can carry emotional weight.
These tokens don’t have to be elaborate. What matters most is the connection they represent. They become a quiet source of strength, a way to feel grounded, and a reminder that love continues to walk beside you—even if not in the way you once imagined.
Include Them in the Program
Including a loved one in your printed program or bulletin is a simple yet powerful way to honor their memory. It doesn’t have to be elaborate—a short note can speak volumes. You might include their name with a line like, “In loving memory of [Name], forever in our hearts,” or “Today we celebrate with joy, and remember with love.” These small acknowledgments can offer comfort not only to you, but also to guests who knew and loved them.
Some couples choose to include a favorite quote, a shared memory, or a brief tribute that reflects the person’s spirit. For example, “We remember Grandpa Joe’s warm laugh and his love of storytelling—he would have had the best toast today.” Others might include a symbol or icon—like a small heart, dove, or flower—next to the name as a quiet visual cue.
If your program includes a timeline or order of events, you could also dedicate a moment within the ceremony to their memory and note it there. Whether it’s a formal dedication or a subtle mention, including someone in the program is a way of saying: You are part of this story, and you are not forgotten.
Light a Candle or Ring a Bell
Symbolic gestures can create a quiet, sacred space for remembrance. Lighting a candle before the ceremony begins is a simple yet powerful act—one that invites reflection and honors the light someone brought into your life. Similarly, ringing a bell in their memory can mark their presence in a gentle, resonant way. These small rituals don’t require words; they speak through intention, offering a moment of connection that lingers in the heart.
Acts of Service in Their Honor
For some couples, the most meaningful tribute is to give back in a loved one’s name. Making a donation to a cause they cared about—whether it’s a local shelter, a medical foundation, or a community project—can be a powerful way to carry their legacy forward. Others choose to dedicate part of their celebration to service, like planting a tree, organizing a food drive, or creating a scholarship fund. These acts of kindness not only honor someone’s memory but also extend their spirit into the world in a tangible, lasting way.
Love That Stays with Us
Grief and joy often share the same space, especially on days filled with meaning. Including someone who can’t be there isn’t about trying to fill their place—it’s about honoring the love, influence, and memories they’ve left behind. Whether your tribute is quiet and personal or shared with everyone present, what matters most is that it feels true to your heart.
Love doesn’t disappear. It changes shape. It lingers in gestures, in symbols, in stories—and sometimes, in the simple act of someone stepping forward to walk beside you. These moments remind us that even in absence, we are never truly alone.
If you're planning a wedding in Salt Lake City and want a ceremony that honors your story and those you love—past and present—Juniper Flats Ministry would be honored to help. Reach out today to schedule a consultation and begin planning a meaningful, personalized wedding experience in Utah.
