The Ten Year Proposal

A Marriage Story That Skips the Script

I popped the question late into my relationship with my wife.

Ten years late.

We had already travelled around the country, met my wife’s family, opened a business, bought a house, adopted a pack of rescue dogs, and everything else people living under the same roof do when they are in a committed relationship. Things were good—actually things were awesome—and I was nervous about making changes in our relationship by ruining it with a marriage proposal.

Doesn’t matter how old you are, you can still make immature decisions throughout your life. And waiting ten years to ask her to marry me might be considered one of those decisions.

Our engagement was over a $10 ring I bought at Target. I knew I had to get her something to wear. SPOILER: She didn’t wear it because it was a $10 ring from Target. We eventually found a beautiful antique ring that was crafted the same year as our house, 1918. It serves as her wedding band today. And for the record, it was a lot more money than the Target ring.

And just like our proposal was unique, so was our wedding. We eloped. I got married at a Starbucks in Chinatown just down the street from the U.S. Capital building in Washington D.C. That’s a story for a different time, but when we got home, we did host a big reception at Wasatch Pub in Sugar House. That was cool because it allowed our friends and family to come celebrate with us without all the pressure of having to show up for a formal wedding.

Consider that when you’re planning your wedding...

We’ve done things our way because it’s our marriage. Of course, I’ve taken advice from friends, uncles, and my father. I’ve listened to people lecture me on what makes a successful marriage and pitfalls to avoid. There might have even been a podcast or book thrown into the mix trying to figure out how to make the marriage work. But, in the end, marriage works when both partners work to make it work.

And that’s a lot of work!

The analogy that best fits married life is moving from the kid’s table to the adult’s. Yes, of course, you’re eating and having fun at the smaller table, but when you make the move to the big table, the conversation and cuisine are better even if you need to know how to use a knife and fork.

Moving to the grown-up table means more than just swapping plastic cups for wine glasses. It’s where you learn to listen, to compromise, and to pass the mashed potatoes without starting a fight.

At the kid’s table, you’re mostly focused on yourself—what you want, what you like, what’s fair. But at the grown-up table, you start thinking about others. You learn that sometimes you eat cold food so your partner can eat hot. You learn that the best conversations aren’t always the loudest, and that silence can be comfortable when it’s shared.

Marriage is the grown-up table. It’s messy, it’s complicated, and sometimes someone spills the pinot noir. But it’s also where the good stuff happens—where you grow, where you laugh, and where you learn that love isn’t just a feeling. It’s a practice.

And if you’re lucky, you get dessert.

I don’t remember the exact moment I decided to propose, but I do wish I’d done it sooner. If you’re on the fence about asking the big question, consider this: Were you on the fence when you first walked up and said hello?

I can’t promise much, but I will say this—whatever lightning bolt you felt when you threw caution to the wind and introduced yourself will feel like a gentle breeze compared to the moment you drop to one knee.

And best of all? You’ll feel it tenfold on your wedding day.

Ready to Pop the Question? Let’s Talk.

So when you're ready to pop the question—or even just thinking about it—know this: the energy that comes from wanting to spend the rest of your life with someone is electric. And when it’s time to make it official, I’m here to help you capture every spark of that moment.

Whether you're planning a backyard bash, a mountaintop elopement, or something totally off-script, I’d love to be your officiant. Get in touch for a free consultation, and let’s talk about making your special day unforgettable.