MILs and Mimosas

Building Bridges Through Brunch

I’m in the minority—I actually like my mother-in-law.

When I fell in love with my then-girlfriend (now wife), I knew there was a high probability I’d eventually meet one or both of her parents. As fate would have it, my first encounter with her mom happened over brunch in Cottonwood Heights. It wasn’t super awkward.

Bottomless mimosas and my ability to use a fork and knife gave me just enough room to breathe.

I remember driving home afterward and nervously asking my wife if I did okay. That’s when it hit me: maybe my MIL was auditioning for me too. Or, more accurately, she was doing her best acting job not to piss off her daughter while we shared eggs Benedict, muffins, and fruit bowls.

That brunch wasn’t just a meal—it was a soft launch into family dynamics, expectations, and the delicate art of blending lives. And that’s the beauty of a pre-wedding brunch: it’s not about reinventing the relationship wheel. It’s about creating a space where future in-laws can sip, snack, and slowly start to see each other as allies instead of strangers.

So let’s raise a glass (preferably with champagne and a splash of OJ) to the idea that hospitality can build bridges—and that mimosas might just be the social lubricant we all need.

The Guest List: Who to Invite and Why

A pre-wedding brunch is more than just a meal—it's a moment to build bridges, share stories, and set the tone for the big day. Choosing the right mix of guests can make all the difference.

Start with the Essentials

• Mothers-in-law (of course): This is their moment to feel seen, celebrated, and included.

• Stepmoms, grandmothers, and maternal figures: Anyone who’s played a nurturing role deserves a seat at the table.

• Bridesmaids or siblings: These trusted allies can help guide conversation, ease tension, and keep the vibe light.

Add People Who Elevate the Experience

• The natural connectors: That cousin who always finds common ground or the aunt who tells great stories.

• The peacemakers: If there’s been past tension, consider inviting someone who can gently bridge the gap.

• The memory keepers: Guests who bring family history and warmth can enrich the brunch with shared nostalgia.

Pause on Potential Distractions

• The critic: If someone tends to dominate conversations with strong opinions or unsolicited advice, consider inviting them to a different event.

• The wildcard: A brunch is not the time for unpredictable behavior or unresolved drama.

• The overwhelmed: If a guest is going through something heavy, they may appreciate being included in a more relaxed setting later.

Tips for Balancing Intimacy with Inclusivity

• Keep the guest list small enough for meaningful conversation—ideally under 15 people.

• Use place cards or seating arrangements to encourage mingling and avoid cliques.

• If you’re unsure about someone, ask yourself: Will this person help others feel comfortable and connected?

Setting the Scene: Atmosphere and Décor

The magic of a pre-wedding brunch lies in its ambiance—light, floral, and effortlessly welcoming. This isn’t a formal affair; it’s a chance to create a space that feels celebratory yet calm. Soft linens, fresh blooms, and natural light help set the tone, making guests feel instantly at ease.

Round tables are a smart choice for encouraging conversation. They naturally invite guests to engage with one another, rather than retreat into side-by-side silos. You can add place cards with fun facts about each guest—like “She makes the best lemon bars in the family” or “Ask her about her honeymoon in Greece”—to spark laughter and connection.

A mimosa bar makes for a perfect centerpiece. Offer a variety of fresh-squeezed juices, herbal garnishes, and even a non-alcoholic bubbly for those who prefer it. It’s interactive, festive, and gives guests a reason to move around and mingle.

The goal is simple: create an environment where everyone feels relaxed, seen, and ready to connect—not just with the couple, but with each other. When the setting feels intentional, the conversations tend to follow suit.

The Menu: Food That Fosters Connection

 If the mimosa bar is the heart of the brunch, the menu is its soul. This isn’t just about feeding people—it’s about creating moments. A well-chosen spread invites guests to linger, share bites, and swap stories over second helpings.

Start with the classics: think golden quiches, buttery croissants, and vibrant fruit platters that look like they were arranged by a florist. Add a few vegetarian-friendly dishes that feel indulgent but inclusive—like roasted vegetable frittatas, smoked salmon on cucumber rounds, or avocado toast with edible flowers. These are dishes that say, “We thought of you,” without needing to say a word.

Then, layer in a few conversation starters. Maybe Grandma Dee’s famous coffee cake makes an appearance, or there’s a dish inspired by the couple’s first date. Food with a story behind it always tastes better—and gives guests something to talk about besides seating charts and centerpieces.

And don’t forget the sweet finish. Mini lemon tarts, chocolate-dipped strawberries, or a DIY yogurt parfait station can add a playful touch. Bonus points if you include handwritten labels with cheeky names like “MIL-approved Muffins” or “Peace Offering Pastries.”

The goal? A menu that’s as thoughtful as the guest list and as warm as the atmosphere. When the food feels personal, the connections tend to follow.

Bridging the Gap: Conversation Starters and Activities

Creating space for genuine connection is the heart of this brunch. Here are a few easy, engaging ways to spark conversation and build bridges:

• “Wedding Wisdom” Cards
  Set out blank cards or a small notebook where guests can jot down advice, memories, or well wishes. Prompts like “What’s one thing you wish you knew before getting married?” or “Share a favorite family tradition” can guide the responses.

• Shared Values Icebreakers
  Pose questions that highlight common ground, such as:

• “What’s your favorite way to celebrate a milestone?”

• “What’s one quality you admire in your child’s partner?”

• “What’s a family recipe you hope gets passed down?”

• Story Swap Circle
  Invite guests to share a short story about their own wedding day, a parenting moment, or a funny family memory. Keep it light and optional—no pressure to perform.

• “Who’s Who” Fun Facts Game
  Before the brunch, collect one fun or surprising fact from each guest. Read them aloud and let everyone guess who it belongs to. It’s a great way to break the ice and celebrate individuality.

• Table Talk Cards
  Place a few conversation cards at each table with questions like:

• “What’s your go-to brunch order?”

• “What’s a song that reminds you of love?”

• “What’s the best advice you’ve ever received?”

• Photo Memory Station
  Set up a small display with old family photos and invite guests to add their own. It’s a visual way to celebrate shared history and spark storytelling.

• Gentle Games (Optional)
  If the crowd is game, try a light activity like “Wedding Bingo” with squares like “Mentioned the honeymoon” or “Complimented the mimosa bar.” Keep it playful and low-stakes.

Navigating Tensions with Grace

A well-planned brunch isn’t just about the food—it’s about creating space for connection, especially among guests who may not know each other well or who come from different corners of the couple’s life. Icebreakers that celebrate shared values and stories can go a long way in setting the tone.

Consider placing “wedding wisdom” cards at each seat, inviting guests to share advice, memories, or traditions that have shaped their own relationships. These small reflections often spark deeper conversations and laughter. For a more interactive touch, light games like “Who’s Who” with fun facts or a storytelling circle where guests share a favorite wedding moment or parenting memory can gently encourage bonding.

Keep everything optional and low-pressure—this isn’t about performance, it’s about presence. When guests feel invited to contribute, not obligated, the result is a brunch filled with warmth, empathy, and a few unexpected connections that might just carry through to the big day.

Building a Foundation of Respect

If the brunch ends with smiles, shared stories, and maybe a few new inside jokes, you’ve done it right. This gathering isn’t about perfection—it’s about presence. By creating a space where maternal figures feel valued and heard, you’re laying the groundwork for a wedding day filled with warmth and mutual respect. A simple follow-up, like a thank-you note or a shared photo from the brunch, can reinforce the connection and show appreciation. These small gestures go a long way in turning good intentions into lasting goodwill.

Crack the Ice and Pass the Cantaloupe

Let’s be real—no brunch is going to solve every family dynamic, and if things felt a little awkward or didn’t go exactly as planned, take heart. It probably wasn’t nearly as bad as you think.

Families aren’t built in a day, and relationships—especially the in-law kind—take time, patience, and a few shared meals. What matters is that you made the effort. Sometimes all it takes is a little crack in the ice to start something meaningful. So, raise your glass (or your coffee mug) to progress, not perfection.

Ready to tie the knot?

Contact Benny Raskin at Juniper Flats Ministry for a free consultation. Mimosas solve a lot of problems, but when it comes to officiating your wedding, you’ll want someone who knows his way around a microphone and can bring the right mix of heart, humor, and professionalism to your big day. Let’s make it unforgettable—and maybe even a little fun.